"Pray, hope, and don't worry." -Padre Pio

"Pray, hope, and don't worry." -Padre Pio

Orchard

Orchard

Friday, May 1, 2015

Homeschooling for Free

It is easier than ever to homeschool in the age of technology, and so many resources are available for free that I believe it would be possible to get your kids to high school graduation barely spending a penny. If I needed or decided to, I could homeschool for free. To be clear, I don't. I have bought lots of wonderful books and resources that now are littered with underlines and margin notes or have pages torn out for coloring. But I choose very carefully what I will own. I have bought a few resources that have sat barely used on the bookshelf for years, so I generally borrow a book from the library or a friend before I commit to buying. With that, I want to share some of my favorite free resources and how they play into our homeschooling days.

The Library

Of course you knew I'd start there. With the library system the way it is today, you can find almost any book in existence and have it sent to your local library through Inter-Library Loan. But even the local library is packed with resources on nearly any topic. When my kids have an interest in a specific topic, we find that section in the library and go to town! I have yet to be disappointed, though my children's interests are wide and varied. Dinosaurs? Check. Outer space? Check. The Periodic Table? Check. Star Wars? Check, check, check!

YouTube

Used with some common sense, YouTube has become my most frequent go-to for multimedia material. A simple search for children's songs about any topic under the sun gives you a list a mile long! I would recommend previewing first; obviously you want to make sure the video is what it says it is, and is not offensive, but also there are plenty of YouTube videos for kids that are just plain duds. Awful, boring, uninspiring stuff is everywhere. But there are plenty of gems hidden in there if you take the time to look!

The other use I have found for YouTube is listening to free audiobooks. Most audiobooks that can be found on LibriVox (another awesome, free resource) are available on YouTube in one continuous stream. No need to click on the next chapter, the whole book is read for you in one go. 

Google Earth

I could use Google Earth as my entire geography curriculum. Plunk the kids down at the computer and explore the world! They even consider it a game, and they are excited to tell Dad that they got to "play" Google Earth. When we read a book set in a different country, we can travel there in an instant. With the added benefits of street view and photographs, we can get a pretty good idea of every place we want to explore. Last spring we took a family road trip to Boston; in preparation for the trip, we checked out our route on the computer, and when we got back we zoomed in on Boston to remind us of all the sites we saw!

The Backyard

It's pretty amazing what the kids can teach themselves when they're simply set free in the backyard. After a day of digging in the dirt, the boys taught me that there are some pretty awesome (read: gross) bugs living beneath our lilac tree. We also have a huge log out back that the kids take turns hammering nails into, learning coordination, turn-taking, concentration, and all sorts of other useful skills. One of the beautiful aspects of homeschooling is the opportunity to take advantage of long hours outside in every type of weather. There have been many weekdays that have found us reading books in the grass in spring, or throwing snowballs in winter, during regular school hours.

Pinterest/Blogs/Internet Searches

I have a few favorite blogs that I follow, but more often than not I turn to Pinterest or a quick Google search to find an activity for a topic we are studying. People are more than willing to share their talents and knowledge online, and I've found that to be especially true with homeschooling moms. Whole units are available free to download in some places! There are lists of science experiements using only common kitchen items, crafts consisting solely of construction paper and glue, countless ideas of how to teach using what you already own. Sure, the packaging may not be as flashy, the outcome not quite as "frame-worthy", but I can tell you that my kids learned just as much from a baking soda and vinegar volcano in an old jelly jar surrounded with play-doh than they would have from a brightly packaged, store-bought version. Maybe even more.

There are many reasons to spend money on good, solid curriculum choices and reference books; I love having our shelves filled with resources and inspiration. But it is just amazing what is available to aid your children in their education journey without having to open your pocketbook!




Friday, March 27, 2015

Lots of Personality


Most people who know me know that I am fascinated with the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), that personality test we all took in high school. Back then it was just a fun way think about what job I was best suited for, but the more I learn, the more I realize how helpful it is in understanding human interactions.

To quickly explain, the MBTI has four categories, each with two preferences. By taking a test you can determine whether you tend toward being an Introvert or Extravert, Sensor or Perceiver, Thinker or Feeler, and Judger or Perceiver. The first (I or E) is how you prefer to process information and renew your energy, internally or externally. The second (S or P) is whether you are detail-oriented and in tune to the world around you, or more focused on big-picture concepts and abstract ideas. The third (T or F) is how you make decisions, based on reason and valuing justice, or based on emotion and valuing harmony. The fourth (J or P) is whether you prefer structure and schedule or flexibility and adaptability in your interactions with the world.

There are sixteen possible combinations, and each combination of four letters creates a personality "type" that tends to view the world in a particular way. Some people are put off by the idea that there are only sixteen personalities for all of the billions of people out there, but in my experience, it has opened my eyes to the fact that there are fifteen ways of seeing the world that are completely different than mine, and within those are endless variations of individual preferences. It helped me to realize that people who think and act differently than me are not automatically wrong, they are just looking at the world in a slightly different way.

 

Case in point: my eldest son. My husband and I are alike in all but one of our preferences (Thinker vs Feeler, I'll let you guess who's who), but Max has only one letter in common with me! I am an INFJ, he is an ENTP, an Extraverted-iNtuitive-Thinker-Perceiver. In a nutshell, he wants to know ALL THE THINGS. His little brain is constantly learning and scheming and putting ideas out into the world, certain that he can improve upon everything that has ever been done. His bookworm mother who loves worksheets and alone time has a tough job keeping up with his constant quest for knowledge.

I have spent the last few years figuring out how to teach to Max's preferences, using hands-on projects, lots of space for creativity and open-ended exploration. Then his little brother got in on the game and I realized I have to completely re-evaluate. Lucian, I am fairly certain, is an ISTJ. He wants things black and white, and he wants to do what he is supposed to. He will sit for an hour filling out his workbooks, he loves games with rules, he follows instructions extremely well, but he gets very stressed out if there isn't clearly a right answer.

 

How in the world to school such different thinkers in the same home? It's an ongoing puzzle for me. Some days we do great, and they are both totally engaged. Some days one or the other is bored (or anxious) to tears. I hope that as they grow, they will keep each other in check and help each other to be more balanced. At the very least, they are set up well to get along with their college roommates someday, no matter how little they have in common! But I do know this: Whatever their differences, they are becoming the very best of friends. That is something they will always share.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

But What About Socialization?


Ahh, socialization. It seems to be the most common qualm people have with homeschooling, but I wonder how often we stop and think about what socialization actually means. The Psychology Dictionary defines socialization as "The process by which we learn social skills," which are described as " the skills that allow a person to interact and to act appropriately in given social contexts." So in a nutshell, the biggest concern many parents have with homeschooling is that homeschooled children will not learn to act appropriately within their social context.

My mama bear instinct always kicks in when this concern comes up. I know it is not the intent, but it sounds an awful lot as if people are afraid my kids will be weird. Everyone wants their kid to fit in, and I'm no exception. But I'm trying to combat this reaction in myself as I think about this whole problem. Maybe the question is bigger than whether my kids will act just like your kids. Maybe the question we should ask is, do they need to?

By definition, social norms are not absolute. They  change based on location, peer group, time in history. What is socially acceptable here and now would have been unthinkable a century, even a few decades ago. Imagine the scandal if Audrey Hepburn had shown up in the dress Jennifer Lopez chose for this year's Academy Awards. (I won't link to it, just trust me.) Depending on the circumstances, being "socialized" in a particular culture could be extremely detrimental. I have heard it said that the young Nazis in Germany were very well-socialized... but they were socialized into an evil, destructive mindset.

Even if today's "normal" is transient, parents have every right to hope that their kids fit in. Like I said before, I don't want people to think my kids are weird. But when I really stop to think about it, I wonder if being weird is actually a problem at all. Think about how weird Einstein was! He never wore socks and couldn't pass his classes, but his contributions to math and science changed the course of history. What if his parents' greatest concern was that their child fit in? Would there have been space for his genius to shine through? History's groundbreakers and geniuses have consistently come up short on "social skills".

And that makes me wonder... is the question of socialization more about children or about parents? If my kids have no concept that their idiosyncrasies are frowned upon in the school system, why should they bother me? My son likes to make a lot of funny noises when he plays with his toys. If there is no one who tells him that's unusual, why should it matter? I think we focus too much on wanting our kids to act the same, then when they grow up we suddenly start asking them to show their creativity and their uniqueness. I know that I was so concerned with acting in a socially acceptable way when I was young that the idea of standing out was very difficult when it came time to do so. Creativity is out-of-the-box thinking, so why should our kids be put in boxes to begin with?

There is another part of this issue. We may be concerned about the real shortcomings and insecurities we recognize in our kids, whether it be shyness, flightiness, or temper. I can almost assure you that those problems will be there whether they are schooled in a building or at home. We all have our gifts and we all have our struggles. I don't think that either choice in education is a magical fix for character flaws. To that end, I really don't care too much about "socialization", but I am deeply concerned about my children's formation. How well they fit into the current social construct doesn't keep me up nights. I care about how they fit into the eternal construct created by God. I want them to be formed in virtue and to know how to pray. I want them to be confident in the knowledge that they are loved by God no matter what external difficulties arise. For my family, we have chosen the home as the most ideal setting to impart this knowledge.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

The Devil is in the Comparisons

We're human. It's part of our nature to compare ourselves to others, to see how we measure up. We like to know that we're not at the bottom of the stack, to put it bluntly, that there's someone out there doing worse than we are. It's a poisonous way of thinking, but we're all guilty of it, myself most of all. I made a concerted effort my whole life to excel just enough to succeed but not stand out. In ballet classes my biggest fears were two-fold: I feared that I would look like a fool when I couldn't do a combination correctly, and I feared that I would do so well that I would be asked to demonstrate for the class. I constantly measured myself by those around me rather than by internal goals I set for myself.

In motherhood, this habit of mine had the possibility of crippling my ability to school my children. As moms, don't we often measure our success by the success of our children? And aren't we guilty of judging others in the same way? I started out thinking that there was a "normal" child, and I wanted my kids to conform as closely to that "normal" as possible. It took me a long time, much too long, to realize that's not how it works. Each child is uniquely crafted by God to complete a task only that child can accomplish in all of human history. Sofia Cavaletti, founder of the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, talks often about guiding the child to be fully himself, the unique individual that God created him to be. There is no place in parenting, or in education, to measure our children against other people's children.

A quote attributed to Albert Einstein has become my motto whenever I am tempted to draw comparisons: "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." More than just intellectual capabilities, I believe this speaks to the genius in every person placed there by God. I wrote before about my son's unconventional learning style; he would probably test more like a fish than a monkey, but I know that he will be successful in what he puts his mind to. But what if God entrusts us with a child with severe disabilities who will never learn to read or function socially? I firmly believe that there is still a genius in that child, one that can't be measured by tests and interviews. God has a plan for each child, regardless of how they "measure up" to our expectations.


It is an ongoing battle for me to stop comparing, but the fruits of this new mindset have been incredible. I can see my children for their unique abilities and personalities rather than seeing them only in terms of expectations and ideals. Homeschooling has afforded me the luxury of avoiding reading groups and other labels, so my kids have no concept of what they "should" know at their age, only that they are learning more each day. And when they tell me that Max is better at drawing or Lucian is better at chess, I am quick to point out that in our home, we do not compare. God gave us our abilities, not our sibling's abilities, to do something very important and unrepeatable in the world. Our goal is to find out what that is. What an adventure!

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Teaching Max to Read


I'm going to start this post with a caveat: My seven-year-old is not yet a fluent reader. If you're looking for advice on how to teach your child to read, you should probably look elsewhere. This post is about my journey through a lot of stress and worry toward a deeper understanding of my son as an individual, and child development in general.

I started homeschooling when Max was in preschool and I had only one other child.  We did all kinds of crafts and activities whenever Lucian was sleeping, and I felt like Supermom. My son was four and had listened to the Hobbit, knew the body systems, and loved books with a passion. We tried a little reading practice but he wasn't interested, so I set it aside. Thomas Jefferson Education, which has been the main education philosophy that I follow, stresses that academic subjects are not important until around age eight. Eight! I told this confidently to everyone I knew, but in my heart I was sure that my son would be reading well before age eight. I was a super early reader, and I always equated early reading with intelligence. Of course my kids would be just like me!

In Kindergarten we kept up the same basic routine, but I was starting to feel a little pressure to work harder on reading. I had another baby and less time to work with Max, plus his interest in reading was still zero. It was causing stress in our relationship, so I took the sage advice of my mentor Annie, who suggested that I set my reading goals aside for a month and learn about what he loves. His time to read will come, she said. So I did, and he learned about the periodic table of elements instead. When I wasn't watching he picked up on all of his letter sounds and learned to write his capital letters. Instead of rejoicing in his successes, I worried that he didn't know all of his lowercase letters. But I kept in mind what my friend Annie said and I waited.

Then the summer before first grade came. I was listening to many of my friends talk about what their children would be learning in preschool and kindergarten and I started freaking out. My son was six and he still had no interest in reading. Never mind that he knew all of his letter sounds and could sound out many simple words, I wanted my son to be reading like everyone else! I didn't want him to be behind, but I was also feeling the pressure to show everyone that I could do this. I wanted to prove homeschooling. I sat down that first day of first grade, determined to teach him to read... and it just about ruined our year. Out the window had gone everything I believed in about developmental readiness and inspiration. I wanted my kid to be "normal".

After a week of insanity, I came around and remembered why I decided to homeschool in the first place. I wanted my son to have an education that did not revolve around other people telling him what to do and when to do it. I wanted him to love learning. I went back to the drawing board and revised my plan for the year. We were going to do what we had been doing for the last two years, learning what we wanted to learn at the pace my kids wanted to learn it. I got more creative about introducing literacy and math concepts, and when I got blank stares or antsy squirms I stopped.

More than halfway through the year now, we have started to make some real progress. After trying four different reading programs, we ended up back at the first one we ever tried, three years ago. It was a train wreck at age four but now Max loves it, because now he's ready for it. I know that this story is not done being written yet. We will probably still have some setbacks before he is a confident reader, and I will likely have plenty more moments of worry and doubt. But I am beginning to trust that learning happens in its own time. My son's pace is not my pace, and that is ok.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Welcome!

Welcome, thanks for joining me! Let me introduce myself. My name is Taryn, and I am a Catholic wife and mother of four awesome kiddos. I made the decision to homeschool when my oldest was 3, so that means I already have four years of experience! Now, don't take that to mean that I know what I'm doing. More often than not, I feel at a total loss and wonder how I got into this craziness. But home education is an ongoing journey, and I am learning more every day.

There is one thing I have learned in these four years, and that is the reason I decided to start blogging about my family's education. I have discovered that there is an insane amount of pressure put on children to perform well and to fit into a particular mold. I was blessed with a firstborn who refused to let me put him into a mold, so I was forced to examine my views of education and childhood. In doing so I made some wonderful discoveries! I created this space to share the ideas and resources that have inspired me in my homeschooling journey, and to document for myself the successes and setbacks of our living education.

There are a few words that continually come back to me when I reflect on what I want my children's education to look like. If these words ring true to you, I hope you can take something helpful away from these pages.

Simple
I am not an organized person. I plan many of my lessons in the morning during breakfast. I don't think this is an ideal setup, but for now that's how we roll. Because of this, I am always on a search for ways to make our education as simple as possible. I look for simple crafts, activities, and experiments, often using what I can find around the house. And I strive to keep my mission simple: I want to instill in my children a love of learning so that they will desire to take charge of their education.

Inspiring
Like I said above, I want my children to own their education. The only way to do this is to help them learn to love learning. How do I do that? I listen to them and give them a lot of input on their education, even at ages 7 and 5. I also make it a point to get excited about things that I'd like them to learn. If I'm excited to learn about something, they are much more likely to show interest.

Individual
No two children are alike, and nowhere is that more true than my own home. I have a "mad scientist" firstborn son (I mean that as a compliment to him!) and a type-A second son who loves worksheets and math problems. They excel and struggle in very different areas, so it is impossible to teach them both the same way.

Worry-Free
I named my blog based on the scripture verses Luke 12:6-7: "Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins? Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows." I strive to give my kids an environment free of comparison and worry, because they are exactly who they are meant to be. God is watching out for each of them and if I place them in His hands, I have nothing to worry about!


If you are the parent of a homeschooling family, I hope my thoughts and ideas can inspire you. If you are unfamiliar with this type of education, I hope I can help dispel some myths about what a "homeschooling  family" looks like. I firmly believe that parents are the best people to make decisions about their kids, so whatever kind of education you have chosen for your family, I hope that you will trust yourself and follow the advice of Padre Pio: "Pray, hope and don't worry."